Over the last month, I’ve connected one-on-one with some people who are reading my blog to find out what they think. Most are incredibly encouraging, but one reached out recently with notes — yes notes — about his reactions. I was stunned that someone would take the time and so excited to think about how I could incorporate the ideas into a future post.
His reactions to ‘There’s Always a Scoreboard’ brought to light a key part of my blog — it’s point of view. I’m a middle-aged married working mother of two. While I may like to believe that I can channel universal thoughts, I know that isn’t true. Things will tend to be framed from my experience, historical and current. And it really came home soundly in his feedback.
It’s fascinating to think of this [There’s Always a Scoreboard] in terms of parenting. In my life, ‘beating’ coworkers in the eyes of my boss and ‘winning’ at the dating game to find the best significant other is on my mind. Seems like the post could include more examples of how to deal with this reality to be satisfied with where you are personally, checking with others as a point of reference to where you could be, but not getting down about feeling defeated.
It has been more than 22 years since I was trying to find a significant other. I’m confident in my career in a way that I wasn’t when there were 1,000 other junior analysts like me grinding it out in the trenches. True, I still worry. But not about the same things, not from a 20-something point of view.
And, I think that has to be okay. Trying to speak as a 20-something would be a failed effort. And even if I harken back to my 20-something self, she lived in a different time and place than the 20-somethings now. A river is never the same twice.
But that doesn’t mean that this blog can’t be useful to people at a different place in their life. The questions expressed by my friend are good questions — they spurred introspection and thoughtfulness. The scoreboard idea held, and the fact that he had to twist it like a kaleidoscope to get it to line up to his circumstances is okay. It’s better than ok. It means at the heart of the post was something universal, some grain of truth that could carry past my experiences to have meaning for others.
Damn, that feels good. Another point for me.