I’m not very good at Twitter. I’m a relationship builder and it feels like Twitter is more transitory — I might invest in reading 140 characters from your heart or I might not. It depends on my mood and whether you made me laugh last time. Follow. Unfollow. Like. Retweet. I’m not capable of bounding relationships that way.
I don’t have many followers.
When by some weird circumstance someone does choose to follow me I am immediately intrigued. How did they find me? What encouraged them to click the button? What are they looking for from me? I respond to any follow request with a quick personal message asking them their why…why did you follow me? No one ever replies which just reinforces the absurdity of my being on Twitter — it is not about building relationships it’s about building followers.
And yet this week a couple of my new followers led me to a great little article on Forbes that highlighted things that smart women are ‘done with’ for 2017. I like the idea of being ‘done with’ something. Although it starts a bit negative it ends with a strong accountability message: you can make choices to let things go in spite of evidence to the contrary. Like the older woman in the article who was ‘done with’ 7-inch platform shoes that are ‘more comfortable than they look’ we can all choose to be done with things that have outlived their usefulness.
So, in honor of 2017, here are three things that I am done with:
Not Being Good Enough
Every single person I know has moments when they feel like they aren’t good enough. Seriously, even people that I know who are at the top of their game, who live lives of grace and dignity and get up every day to do their best still sit in judgement of themselves and how they are not good enough. I do it to myself every time that I have to pull myself up, dust myself off and try something again. So, I’m done with feeling like I’m not good enough. I won’t give up the need for self-reflection and self-improvement, but I will try to allow myself to be imperfectly human and have that be good enough.
There were points last year when I struggled to maintain my positivity, when I felt that the anger I saw would grow so hot it would burn people to char. I’ve learned that it is easy to reject something or someone that you disagree with, easy to turn their own words against them and focus on the fear. I felt myself getting that way, not just in big moments but with my own family. No, I may not agree with every opinion or action that people have or take, but more than opinions and actions I believe in people living authentic lives of purpose. So, I’m done with escalating the negative, there are enough people who do that. I’m going to try to escalate the possibility.
I started to slip into a horrible habit last year, falling regularly into a countdown to the weekend. Five more days, four more days, three more days, two more days, one more day… like the gasping breaths of a swimmer desperately pulling their head above water in between flailing frantic dips below the waves. It’s a pattern I’ve seen followed by people for months, years and the length of a career. They watch the sand slip through the hourglass, never finding a way to enjoy the bulk of their days because they are filled with work. I’m going to remind myself that I have chosen my work from many things that I am capable of doing. I’m done with thinking that the only hours worth living are the hours from 5:00pm Friday through 5:00am Monday.
I’m sure there’s more to be done with but I’m only 43. As I get older I hope that I learn more about how to jettison what doesn’t bring happiness and fulfillment to my life. I’ll need to have something to save for later.
Who knows, maybe next year I’ll be done with Twitter.
2 thoughts on “I’m Done with That”
Mel, you need to re-read this. you’ve struggled lately, i believe, on #1… ❤
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A great reminder, Kate. Thanks for taking the time.